There is that storied water on most famous rivers that is labeled "holy water". There is the "holy grail" of each segment of fly fishing, ( skating dry flies for steelhead, stalking huge fish on the flats, or some exciting virgin backcountry fishery.) Then there are the expressions used by most anglers, usually in disbelief of the size of fish just hooked, such as "holy cow!", "holy smokes!" and the ever popular "holy sh**!!" And then.....There are my waders.
My poor holy waders. I guess I am living my mother's prophetic words from my youth..... "I guess we'll just never be able to own anything NICE in this house!" Those words uttered over 30 years ago (usually after I had broken or ruined a piece of the family's community property) have seemed to have followed me through my whole adult life. I'm just hard on equipment.
Unless I'm miraculously gifted a pair, or some other similar stroke of luck comes my way, you'll never see me in a pair of Simm's (I'd never get the "value" out of them, and they'd spend more time at the factory than in the river). In fact, it doesn't really matter what brand, construction or size of waders that grace my growing midsection.....I will make them leak. I put holes in things. Sometimes big ones (and usually at the most inopportune time!). I could be wading up to my ankles on an endless white sand beach in a brand new pair of breathables, and find the only broken Corona bottle within miles to puncture the dang things. Stuff like that happens to me. Who decided to put a ball of barbed wire in the river in the middle of a coastal canyon wilderness? I'd sure the hell like to know, cause I spent a pretty darned cold February day wet, trying to spey cast as my teeth chattered a nonstop hypothermic rhythm, because of it. Or my favorite... "I can't believe they're not punji sticks" that every beaver seems to leave in his wake. The only downside about those death traps is that they usually pierce skin too. Now you've got a hole in your waders, and your leg!
But there is a bright side. Enter the "Jesus" of holy waders. A Christ-like savior in a 1oz. tube. "The redeemer of impaled neoprene" also goes by the name "AQUASEAL". If I couldn't get Aquaseal, I'd probably just have to bite the bullet like a skin diver and get a good wetsuit (I mean, I'm gonna get wet anyways, right?) . At least with a wetsuit I could pee in it and get a quick warm-up during the winter (don't tell me you've never done that in a wetsuit). But thankfully, I don't have to do that. With just a tube of Aquaseal, I can keep just about any pair of waders fishing year round. When the waders near the point where they are more than 30% Aquaseal, its time to replace them (don't laugh, you should see my poor holy waders). The only downside is the drying time of the repairs.
This brings me to my closing thought. "Why doesn't Aquaseal make waders?" I'd be the first one in line to buy them!